This morning is full of Blaargh. There are lots of petty reasons for this - I didn't sleep well because I decided to run last night and my calves rebelled and thought that torturing me at all hours of the night would be fun, my head feels all weird and fuzzy, and I don't want to go to work. But the biggest reason is an appalling lack of coffee in my house.
Now, I have never abused coffee as a 'wake-me-up' substance. The only reason I have ever drank coffee is because I actually love. it. so. much. If you want to send me into a state of euphoria, open a bag of coffee beans and wave it under my nose.
Here is where Blaargh and I conflict. Blaargh has a hunch that coffee's sole purpose is to replace him, to banish him far away into a miniscule filing cabinet in the corner of my mind, neatly contained between letters B and C. So he tries to sabotage my efforts to find coffee with "This chair is so comfy! I could probably just fall asleep right here. The coffee shop is sooooo faaaaar awaaaaay."
You shall not prevail, Blaargh! I have no real fondness for you *even though I have dedicated this blog to you*. Away I shall march and get coffee! (The word 'march' is of course illustrative - I shall actually be using a car.)