You know those conversations when outside you're talking to someone like a normal human being, but inside you're having a completely different conversation with them and imagining all kinds of ridiculous scenarios? And it gets to the point where the inside conversation starts interfering with your behavior in the outside conversation? *sigh* I'm going to have to give an example, aren't I? Okay.
Other Person font
Outside You font
Inside You font
*Imagined scenarios and dialogue*
(I like how boring the Other Person font is)
OP - Hi! Wow I haven't seen you in a while. How is everything?
OY - Going great! It has been a while, not since...
IY - Who on earth is this? Leave an opening in the conversation so they can give you a clue.
OP - I know, like months. Did you find another job?
OY - I did actually. Working at the Awesome Store and having a blast. I really love it there.
IY - Crap, they didn't say where we saw each other last. How on earth did they know I was looking for a job? How long have I been working at the Awesome Store now? Like five months? Six months? Did I ever fill out a W4?
OP - Oh Em Gee I love that store! It's so awesome! I haven't been in for a while - I remember one time...(blathers on incessantly about the Awesome Store.)
OY - (Nodding along and laughing in ten second increments)
IY - Okay, a name. What is their name? Jill? Bob? Casey? Peter! It's awkward now that I've pretended to know who they are. I could just be like 'I'm so sorry, your name has slipped my mind'
*imagine the word Peter taking a Bambi-like sprawl on the slippery surface of your brain and start snickering. Immediately disguise the snicker as a response to whatever it is OP has said*
IY - But what if they're the type of person who gets ridiculously offended by people who don't remember their name? And they suddenly morph into a green alien magician and cause me to choke on my gum as punishment? Why did I decide to chew gum?!
*start planning a fake coughing fit so you can get rid of your gum. Imagine the coughing fit taking a disastrous turn and causing you to actually choke on your gum. Panic and wonder if OP knows the Heimlich Maneuver. What if they don't? And then you die tragically in the street because of GUM?!*
OY - (start laughing hysterically and fail the conversation)
OP - (looks at you like you're a crazy person because your response is waaaay overkill for the lame joke they just told.) Okay, well I really have to go. (waddles away as fast as possible)
*imagine a really huge penguin*
OY - (collapses from laughter)
(I was going to reference a bunch of penguins but couldn't decide if it would be a FLOCK of penguins or a HERD of penguins. So now there is a really huge penguin. And now penguin doesn't look like a word. Penguin penguin penguin penguin.)
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