Introducing Bing!

Apparently Blaargh has a split personality. Blaargh is a mental state which can hinder your productivity during the day, and last night I met the nighttime version - Bing!

Bing! has the habit of showing up on nights when you most need sleep. Say you have to get up early for work the next day - now we're talking reeeeaally early, like before 6am. (By the way, that is one of the most ungodly hours to ever exist in the first place, and if anyone is remotely sane they will be in bed under the covers, experiencing the sweetest, most delicious stage of sleep possible. But I digress.) So you would naturally plan on getting good sleep in hopes of negating the horrific mental scarring of having to hear your alarm go off so early. You brush your teeth, get on your comfiest, favoritest jammies, kiss things goodnight, and crawl under the covers. But there is a problem; your pillow suddenly seems to be made of the Rocky Mountains and is jabbing and poking into your skull. This is slightly uncomfortable. You sit up and gently punch and pound the pillow into submission before flopping down again. Okay, reset.

 Just as you get comfortable, Bing! shows up. "Did I set my alarm?" Your eyes reluctantly open. Did you? Mentally you retrace your steps before getting into bed...of course you set the alarm. You always set the alarm. Unless..."Did I?"  The consequences of not setting your alarm and oversleeping start playing through your head, afflicting you with Poky Stress Syndrome (hereafter referred to as PSS). With a mangled growl of frustration that sounds something like "HGHRmmmllgrrnl" you haul yourself up to check the alarm.

You'd already set it.

But now that Bing! got you to actually listen, he wont be going away any time soon. You start thinking the most random things, and then start wondering how you actually became such a random person. It could go something like this:

"Ugh I'm uncomfortable. There's something in the bed...it feels like...a rock? No why would a rock be in the bed. Oh that was a cool rock at the beach today. Did I pick it up? I got that shell...omg seafood is gross. Why would people eat a clam? I'm hungry now. No I just had dinner - the dishes! Did I remember to soak that pan? And the laundry! Turn over laundry in the morning. And clean the bathroom. Can I use bleach on lead-based painted walls? I wonder if Myth Busters has tried that. Will there be some kind of chemical reaction that will blow up in my face and then I'll have to wear a veil for the rest of my life because - like a nun. Nuns don't wear veils. Do they? I want to watch the Sound of Music again! How do you solve a problem like Maria...*continue mentally singing every single song from the Sound of Music, The King and I, and Oklahoma*. Okay shut up! No more songs! What if Lord of the Rings had music! Oh I would always sing those songs. Viggo Mortenson is yum. Wow I'm random - if there was a prize for Most Random Thoughts While Trying To Sleep Person I would totally win."

This is what Bing! does. Bing! and Blaargh need to switch places.
~C